Insanity Check
by SIGF
Summary: Can Shepard fight off death and indoctrination long enough to save the galaxy and the man she loves? If so, which of the three paths will she choose, and what will the consequences be? A Shenko  Female Shepard and Kaidan Alenko  story. ME3 SPOILERS.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Insanity Check  
><strong>Author:<strong> SIGF  
><strong>Summary:<strong> Can Shepard fight off death and indoctrination long enough to save the galaxy and the man she loves? If so, which of the three paths will she choose, and what will the consequences be? A Shenko (Female Shepard and Kaidan Alenko) story. MASS EFFECT 3 SPOILERS.  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> This world doesn't belong to me. I'm just visiting. Thank you, Bioware, for creating it.  
><strong>Warning:<strong> Mass Effect 3 spoilers, and _a lot_ of cursing.  
><strong>Author's Note:<strong> This story takes place right after the Catalyst tells Shepard her three options to "save" the galaxy. I know that everyone is writing a story with their take (ahem, rewrite) of the ME3 ending. Here's mine. I've been staying away from reading other stories about it while I was nursing my own idea, but now that I have this started, feel free to let me know in the reviews if you have a story that I should check out. With that said, please review, especially if you want me to continue this story. Last but not least, thank you for reading!

* * *

><p>Oh, God, the pain. Everything hurt. No wait, scratch that. Everything hurt <em>like hell<em>.

Surely she should have just died by now, with all the wounds she had sustained trying to get to the beam. But Commander Jane Shepard was too fucking stubborn to die until her mission was complete. The galaxy would be- _had_ to be saved first. Then, and only then, could she let herself embrace the sweet nothingness of death.

"You have a difficult decision. Releasing the energy of the Crucible will end the cycle, but it will also destroy the mass relays. The paths are open. But you have to chose," the Catalyst told her, sounding wise beyond the years of his child-like form. Of course, he wasn't a real child. Shepard had no idea what the fuck he was supposed to be, and why he had taken on the appearance of the little boy who haunted her dreams. Yet, although she was more than curious, she didn't have time to care.

Difficult decision, he said? Hell, that was a damn understatement. But this couldn't be _it_, these couldn't be her only options. This couldn't be the salvation that she had been fighting for, it just _couldn't be_.

"Please... you can't-" Shepard gasped, unable to keep her voice from cracking into a silent sob as the descent of defeat and hopelessness overwhelmed her. She managed to swallow it all down, and, after a few uncertain seconds, she started to speak again. "These can't be the only options. Destroying the mass relays will lead to the destruction of so many planets, so many systems. Billions will lose their lives, maybe more."

Shepard shuddered as she remembered her choice months ago to send an asteroid into a mass relay, thereby destroying the Reapers' access into the Milky Way Galaxy and postponing the Reaper invasion. But that decision had cost hundreds of thousands of Batarian lives. And now, she was being told to make the same decision, once again in the name of peace, once again to stop the Reapers, but on a _much_ larger scale. Could she destroy the galaxy in order to save it?

Her head started to ache under the weight of the decision that she had to make. And was it stress that was causing her to hear a buzzing sound in her head, or was there just some sort of interference on her communication link?

"**_Deciding to destroy the mass relays was the only option back then, just as it is the only option now,_**" a voice whispered to her. But... was that _her_ voice? The more she tried to identify where the voice was coming from, the more her head seemed to throb.

Yet, before she could put too much thought into the matter, the Catalyst interrupted her confusion. "There is no other path, just the three I presented," the ghost-child confirmed. "Or, you can simply do nothing and let the Reapers continue their destruction of your galaxy."

His words caused Shepard's legs to buckle, and she soon found herself on her knees, held up with only the support of her arms. She couldn't do this- she couldn't condemn billions of people to death. Who was _she_ to play God, to make this kind of decision?

Maybe instead of choosing she could just lay down right there and let her wounds run their course, let herself die. She knew that without getting medical treatment soon, she wouldn't live much longer. Rather than being afraid, she welcomed the coming darkness. After all, this was just too fucking much. Shepard had never asked to be the savior of the galaxy, had never asked for that onus to be put upon her shoulders. It would be easier, simpler, to just give up and die and let fate run its course. Perhaps the next cycle would be the one to finally beat the Reapers, and she could watch it happen from a bar in heaven while she and Garrus knocked back a few drinks. And maybe Kaidan would be there, too.

"Kaidan," Shepard whispered softly, finding it suddenly hard to breathe, as if her insides were collapsing upon themselves. Was he still alive after the attack from Harbinger? He hadn't made it to the beam...

But no, he _had_ to be alive. He'd promised her that he'd fight like hell to hold her again, and even if she wouldn't be able to keep her end of the bargain, she fully expected him to do so. He _had _to be alive, he just had to be, because if he wasn't- well then, what was she fighting for?

With renewed vigor, she stood up. One way or another, she would give Kaidan a fighting chance to survive. Now, the only question remaining was, what path should she choose?

"**_Control the reapers_,**" a voice cooed in her head. "**_Think of all the power that you'd have... you could make sure that no one destroyed the galaxy, hurt humanity, hurt Kaidan, ever again. You would have an army of Reapers at your command._**" Shepard put a hand to her temple, her head now pulsing with pain. _Whose_ voice was that? She couldn't think over all the goddamn buzzing!

And then, with the force of a thousand bricks, it hit her.

Oh God, no... She was being fucking _indoctrinated_.

Shepard quickly ran through some of the symptoms of indoctrination that she had memorized from her codex. Headaches? Check. Buzzing? Check. Hallucinations of ghostly presences?

She glanced over at the ghost-child, the Catalyst. _Big fucking check_.

Looking around her, she wondered how she didn't realize any of this earlier. She was standing on top of the Citadel, _in space_, with no suit on, for fucks' sake! Was any of this even real? Shepard wasn't sure that she could distinguish fiction from reality any longer. And dammit, did her head ever fucking hurt!

Shepard let out a pained moan as the sharp agony in her head intensified. Oh, God, she couldn't take it anymore! "**_Stop fighting it and the pain will stop_,**" a voice told her. "**_You will be happy and free from pain if you just submit_.**"

With her entire body shaking from the strain of fighting the indoctrination, Shepard wavered. It was so tempting to just give in, all she wanted was for it to stop...

"_I just want to know, is the person I followed to hell and back- the person that I loved- are you still in there... somewhere_?" asked another voice, but this one was deep, strong, and comforting- one she knew even better than her own. No, it wasn't a voice- it was a memory. _Kaidan_.

"They didn't change me Kaidan. Or how I feel about you," she said out loud, repeating the words she'd said to him back on Mars. "And they won't. I'll fight it with everything I have," she promised, suddenly feeling renewed.

"What are you saying?" the Catalyst asked, clearly enraged. Shepard nearly smiled. So apparently she'd pissed it off- that must be a good thing.

"I'm saying that I'm doing this on my own terms, Casper," Shepard retorted, somehow managing to embrace the pain in her head and ignore the buzzing sounds, at least temporarily.

But now what? What could she do? What path should she choose?

Whoever was indoctrinating her wanted her to pick the path of controlling the Reapers. That's also the path they tried to get the Illusive Man to take before he blew his brains out. All this could only mean one thing- that she should by _no means_ choose this option. Besides, if she _was_ indoctrinated, then whoever controlled her would be the one who was really controlling the Reapers. Then, the Reapers would simply continue their destruction and harvesting, and that was the _last _thing she wanted. No, control was definitely a trap.

So, that left her with two options- destruction, or synthesis. Destruction would be ideal, except that she would end up killing _all_ synthetic life, including EDI and the Geth. But after the events on Rannoch with Legion, after her conversations with EDI, how could she choose to bring about their _genocide_? If being friends with Legion and EDI had taught her anything, it was that synthetic beings could have free will, could have a soul, could be _people_.

But synthesis- was _that _the answer? Humans shared the same DNA with each other, but that didn't mean that humans never went to war with other humans. The same held true for other alien races. Synthesis might lead to peace between alien races, between synthetics and organics, but for _how long_? And then how long would it be before the Reapers changed their minds and decided to wipe out the world again because there was "too much chaos"?

All this thinking made her head feel like it would split open, and Shepard cried out in pain again. At this rate, she wouldn't be able to fight the indoctrination forces much longer.

"Fine then. If I can't use my brain, I'll just have to follow my heart. I'm going to need your help here, Kaidan," she whispered to herself, and her eyes glazed over in determination.

Before she fully knew what she was doing, her body propelled her down the red path, toward the power conduit, toward the destruction of synthetic life.

"I advise against this path. You will destroy synthetic life, including the Reapers, but your children will just create synthetic life again and the peace will not last. And when that happens, there will be no Reapers left to stop the chaos," the ghost-child said in a disapproving voice.

"You can take your two cents and shove it up your ass," Shepard said, uncharacteristically feeling like a renegade all of a sudden. "Besides, I have no intention of destroying all synthetic life. Just the Reapers will suffice."

"What? But you can't-"

"Watch me," she said dismissively as she continued limping up toward the conduit. When she got to the top of the ramp she scanned the conduit with her omni-tool, and almost wept with relief when her tool revealed a hidden console within. Grateful now more than ever that she had chosen to train as an engineer, she used her omni-tool to interface with the hidden console, checking out its coding.

After a few seconds of study, she found that the machine was designed to release a strong electromagnetic pulse across the galaxy upon activation - one that would wipe out all synthetic life, in addition to the mass relays.

If she could somehow lower the intensity of the blast so that the electromagnetic waves passed _through_ the relays without actually _destroying_ them, well, then that would solve one huge problem and keep billions of people alive.

As she set herself to work on doing so, she found that oddly enough, _that_ was the easy part. Shepard smiled in satisfaction as she successfully calibrated the blast to a sufficient ratio.

Much harder, though, was trying to adjust the signature of the wave so that it would destroy the Reapers, but not the Geth and other synthetic life like EDI. EDI and the Geth were especially problematic, since both had Reaper IFF signatures installed within them.

But Shepard wasn't completely without ideas. After all, she _had_ entered the Geth Communication Hub with Legion at Rannoch, where she'd collected pieces of the Reaper infection code. If she could get the electromagnetic pulse to seek out _that_ specific signature instead of a standard synthetic impression or the Reaper IFF, well, then she might just be able to save EDI and the Geth after all.

Of course, she couldn't know with certainty that this would work- it was a gamble, that was for sure. But she _had_ to try, for EDI and the Geth's sakes. Hell, she had to try for her _own_ sake, because she couldn't bring herself to save the galaxy if it meant genocide. That's just not the kind of person she was.

Performing this kind of hack was difficult work, even for an engineer of her caliber, and it certainly wasn't the type of work that should be rushed. However, because she had to rely heavily on her mind to figure out how to properly reprogram the console, the intense indoctrination-based headaches were once again taking a huge toll on her. In addition to that, she had been bleeding heavily ever since the Harbinger attack. She could tell that her body was fading and that she wouldn't be able to remain conscious for much longer. In fact, more than once, she had come dangerously close to giving in to the enticing forces of death or indoctrination. Yet, every time she was on the brink of losing her fight, the thought of the mission made her focus, made her strong. Well, that and Kaidan- always Kaidan. Her love for him filled her with a strength that she didn't even know was possible.

When she finally finished her work, she collapsed against the power conduit, exhausted and spent. All she needed to do now was activate the explosion, and the galaxy would be saved. Well, theoretically. Either that, or she would end up accidentally nuking everything and everyone.

Oh, God... _what if she accidentally nuked everything and everyone_? Could she actually go through with this?

"_Shepard, you know that you've done everything you could, right_?" Another memory of Kaidan. But it felt so real, as if he were actually there with her. She knew that this time, it was the welcoming arms of death that were causing her hallucinations, and not the effect of the indoctrination.

"I hope so. I keep running the numbers to see if I've missed something," she said out loud in response to her memory, but this time, she was smiling as she delivered the line. She knew where this conversation was leading, and was glad that her final memory would be of herself in Kaidan's arms.

"_It's- it's going to be... it's going to be what it is,_" he said, and she felt truly comforted by his words. She had tried her best- that would have to be enough.

"So tell me, how is this kind of distraction supposed to win us the war?" she asked, and she could almost see him grinning impishly at her in response.

"_I'm not a distraction, I'm here to help you relax. Relaxing will help you focus_," the voice in her memory responded. She knew that he had been bullshitting her at the time, saying anything he could to keep her "distracted," but this whole time with the Catalyst, he had been her savior. He _had_ kept her relaxed, he _had_ kept her focused. She'd either be dead or indoctrinated long ago if not for him, her memories of him, her love for him. Indeed, Kaidan had been her sanity check.

"You mean a lot to me Kaidan. I love you," she choked out. More than anything, Shepard wished that she could say those words to him in person, just one last time.

"_I've always loved you. Through all these years, through... through everything. I'm the luckiest man alive_." Remembering those words filled her entire being with an indescribable feeling. Shepard then closed her eyes and tried to relive every kiss, every touch, every caress from that night.

"You might just be the luckiest man alive, Kaidan, and I'm going to make sure that you stay that way," she said wistfully. "It's time for me to go now. You knew the score."

"_I can't lose you again_," his voice echoed in her ear, and she could hear the strangled pain etched in his throat. Her heart shattered into a thousand pieces, and she wished more than anything that she could go to him and comfort him. But, you can't comfort a memory.

Of course, that didn't stop her from trying. "Please be happy, Kaidan. Besides, it's not _every_ girl who can brag that she gave her boyfriend the world... hell, the galaxy." Shepard let herself shed just one tear as she said her final, silent goodbye to the man who had meant everything to her, and then she stood up with determination to face the power conduit.

Since the console was protected by a metal encasing, there was only one way to activate the explosion. Luckily, it was her favorite way. Shepard raised her pistol, her limbs steady.

"You're making a mistake!" the Catalyst screamed, but Shepard just smiled. Her final thoughts were of Joker, Anderson, and of course, Kaidan. She wanted Kaidan to be the last image in her mind before she died.

"I'm Commander Fucking Shepard, and this is my _least_ favorite spot on the Citadel," she yelled as her pistol fired bullet after bullet.

Finally, she finished destroying the power conduit and the explosion was activated. As the world turned red, Shepard smiled. "Oh, Kaidan, I wish you could see this. It's beautiful."

That was her last and final thought before red turned black.

* * *

><p><em>To be continued...<em>


	2. Chapter 2

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Thank you so much for those of you who took the time to read my story, with extra special thanks for those of you who left a review. I really appreciate it! I'm also glad that you seemed to like my cheesy Citadel line ;-).

Regarding this chapter, I meant to be farther along in this story by now, but I have a nasty habit of getting a little too _wordy _when I write. So, I hope you can all bear my writing style. Anyway, here is the second chapter.

* * *

><p><em>Wake <em>_up__._

This brief but desperate thought somehow penetrated Major Kaidan Alenko's deep state of unconsciousness, its fierce need managing to reach even the deepest corners of his mind. Kaidan considered obeying for a brief second- apparently, all his years serving in the Alliance had honed his ability to follow orders so sharply, such that it was almost instinctual to obey commands. Ultimately, though, the thought went ignored and Kaidan once again succumbed to complete senselessness.

_Wake __UP__._

The nagging continued, an unsympathetic force in the quiet black. Kaidan moaned in protest, desiring nothing more than peaceful silence, wanting these persistent thoughts to leave him alone. But they were relentless.

_Wake __up__, __wake __up__, __wake __up__..._

This time, rather than uselessly ignoring the pressing thoughts, Kaidan fought his hardest to obey. But, it was taking _a lot_ of effort. The farther away from nothingness he climbed, the more his entire body ached in protest. His will warred between wanting to listen to the intense, prodding thoughts, and wanting instead to submit himself to the abyss one more time.

_WAKE__. __UP__._

Kaidan moaned again, but this time, he became slightly more alert. There was something he needed to do, something important. What was it? Maybe if he could just remember what it was, then that would help him understand the urgency behind the unwavering command to rise.

With sincere effort and concentration, Kaidan attempted to recall his last few minutes of consciousness. Suddenly, fragmented memories assaulted his discomposed psyche.

_London__... __Reapers__... __Crucible__... __Catalyst__... __Citadel__... __Beam__... __Harbinger__... _

_Running__... __running__ with__..._

"Shepard!" Kaidan yelled with a start, now completely awake. His body, which had been lying supine on the debris-covered ground, shot up unprompted. The pain that followed this seemingly simple motion was so overwhelming that it caused Kaidan to lean over and wretch.

_"Pull __yourself __together__, __Alenko_," he thought. Gritting his teeth against the intense discomfort, Kaidan took a few moments to assess the situation. The last thing he remembered was running toward the beam, trying to avoid the merciless assault by Harbinger. Shepard had been ahead of him, and he remembered watching in horror as Harbinger's blast landed right in front of her. The resulting explosion propelled her body backward, and he would never forget the sound of the sickening crunch that followed as she landed on the ground.

"Sh... Shepard," he gasped, his anguish palpable, feeling as helpless now as he did then. When Kaidan saw her go down he had screeched to a halt, knowing that he should continue his death-defying pursuit of the beam, but wanting, _needing_ so desperately to go to Shepard's aid instead.

Before he could get to her, though, a large piece of debris had gone flying in his direction, hitting him squarely in the head.

For the first time in his life, Kaidan was grateful that his L2 implant had always given him chronic migraines. If it hadn't, he wasn't sure that he could handle the splitting pain he currently felt in his head without passing out again. But, severe headaches were nothing new to Kaidan Alenko, and he knew how to function effectively when afflicted by one. This was just business as usual.

Putting that skill to good use, Kaidan quickly scanned the area. Harbinger was gone, for which he was more than grateful, but everything in sight was completely decimated and the ground was littered with dead bodies. His eyes darted over to the area where he had last seen Shepard, and when he couldn't find her there, he didn't know whether to cry out in horror or sob with relief.

But if she wasn't there, she _had_ to be alive... right? Was it possible that she had somehow made it to the beam? True, Shepard was tough, but getting up and reaching the beam after enduring that kind of assault- the thought of it was just insane!

"Only one way to find out," Kaidan muttered under his breath, eying the blue glow of the beam ahead. It was time to complete the mission and get to the Citadel. Then, he could find Shepard, and they could defeat the Reapers once and for all.

Before he could get there, though, he had another huge problem to worry about. Kaidan glanced down to see that his left calf was completely impaled by a long, sharp piece of metal shrapnel. "Great, just great," he grumbled with frustration, more upset about the delay this would cause than by the injury itself.

He knew that the smartest thing to do would be to stay put until he could get medical help, but he didn't have time for that. Taking a deep breath and bracing himself for something that would, in scientific terms, _hurt __like __a__ motherfucker_, Kaidan lifted his leg up as quickly as he could, watching the blood-covered metal slide through his body.

Kaidan screamed in agony, his leg feeling as if it were on fire, but he continued until he was completely free of the shrapnel. Finally, he saw the last bit of metal unsheathe from his calf, and then laid down on his back again, gasping.

Knowing that he didn't have time for medical treatment, Kaidan slapped a bit of medi-gel onto _the__ freaking __hole_ in his leg, as if that would do any good, and made a makeshift tourniquet with the bandages he carried in his medical kit. That would have to do, for now- Shepard needed him.

Standing took no small amount of effort, and walking was even worse with one of his legs completely gimped, but Kaidan managed to somehow get on his feet and make his way toward the beam, his adrenaline helping him fight through the torment.

Grimly determined, Kaidan was sure that nothing would prevent him from getting to that damn beam, getting to _Shepard_, not even Harbinger himself. But, he soon realized that he was wrong when a familiar face poking out from a bed of debris stopped him completely in his tracks.

"Garrus!" Kaidan cried out, limping over to his fallen comrade as quickly as he could.

"Good to... see you... Alenko," Garrus managed to say, but his words came out labored. Kaidan suspected that he was suffering from a collapsed lung.

"Hold on, Garrus," Kaidan said soothingly, applying medi-gel to his friend's wounds. "I'm going to get you out of here. Are you alright?" he asked with concern.

"Just a few... bruises," Garrus reported. "Needed... new scars... anyway," he said, and Kaidan couldn't help but laugh. "Feels... better now... though," he told Kaidan, nodding toward the medi-gel.

"Glad to hear it," Kaidan said, relieved. "Shepard would never forgive me if I let you die," he added with a grin.

"Been through... worse," Garrus replied, smiling back. "Missile to... the face... remember?"

Kaidan chuckled. "Yeah, Shepard told me about that one, Garrus. Or should I say, 'Archangel?'" he snickered. "Can you move?"

Garrus shook his head. "Trapped," he said, nodding over toward the large pieces of debris covering the bottom half of his body.

"I see that," Kaidan responded. "Don't worry, I'm going to get you out of here."

After a slight pause, Garrus gave Kaidan a serious look. "Shepard?" he asked, and Kaidan could see the deep concern in the Turian's eyes.

Kaidan wanted to saying something reassuring, but at the mere mention of Shepard, his apprehension over her fate caused his chest to tighten with worry. "I'm not sure but... I think she made it to the beam. She _had_ to have made it," he answered. Yet, as much as he wanted to be sure, to _sound_ sure, his words sounded more like a plea than an affirmation.

Garrus must have heard the fear in his friend's voice because he put a comforting hand on Kaidan's shoulder. "Of course... she did. Stubborn," he said.

Laughing, Kaidan smiled fondly. "Indeed, she is," he agreed wholeheartedly. "Now, let's get you out of here so that we can go find her."

Despite his injuries, Kaidan made quick work of getting his friend free from the rubble, using his biotics as well as his hands to do so. Call it adrenaline, call it determination, call it whatever you want- it made no difference. All that mattered to Kaidan was getting to Shepard, and he knew that the sooner he freed Garrus, the sooner he'd be able to continue his search for her.

Yet, before he could clear off the final pieces of debris, a deafening boom diverted his attention from the pile of rubble covering his friend.

"Look! The Citadel!" Garrus shouted, and Kaidan watched as the whole sky was soon engulfed by a surging red light.

"It's... it's beautiful," Kaidan said with amazement, watching as the red light descended into Earth's atmosphere and swept across the city of London. He had no idea what it was- it didn't quite look like an explosion, but it was definitely some kind of powerful, condensed force.

His suspicions were confirmed as the light made contact with its first Reaper. When the growing red bubble absorbed the imposing synthetic, the Reaper ship exploded into dust, completely obliterated by the blast.

"_Holy shit... did it just decimate a freaking Reaper?_" Kaidan thought, completely shocked.

"Coming this... way. Take... cover!" Garrus shouted, breaking Kaidan out of his awed stupor.

Garrus was right. The light had already swept past the Reapers and was quickly pulsing toward them. Glancing down at his friend, Kaidan knew that he wouldn't be able to free Garrus from the debris in time before the blast reached them.

Kaidan swallowed slowly. "I'm not leaving you, Garrus," he said with resolve, looking his friend squarely in the eyes.

"Go!" Garrus protested, but it was fruitless. Kaidan wasn't going to leave his friend to die alone. Once before he had abandoned Shepard on the Normandy when she'd commanded him to leave, leaving her to die, and he'd been tormented by that decision for two long years.

He wouldn't make that mistake again.

Closing his eyes, Kaidan planned to spend his last few moments remembering the times he'd spent with the woman he loved. "_Shepard__... __Janey__... __you __did __it__... __you__ got__ the__ bastards__. __I__'__m__ so __proud __of __you_," he thought. "_I__'__m__ sorry __that__ I__ won__'__t__ be __able__ to__ hold__ you__ again__, __like __I __promised__. __I__ did __fight __like__ hell__- __I__ really__ did__. __It__ just__ wasn__'__t__ enough__. __I__ hope__ you __can __forgive__ me__. __I__ love__ you__..._" Letting out a slow breath, Kaidan resigned himself to his fate, waiting for inevitable death.

But … it never came.

"... Alenko?" Garrus asked unsurely after a few long, chilling seconds.

Looking around slowly in bewilderment, Kaidan felt an acute sense of relief wash over him. But what in the hell just happened? "Garrus, we... we're alive?" he asked stupidly.

Garrus nodded. "Red blast went... through us. Did nothing," he said with a shrug.

"So, it killed the Reapers, but left us unharmed?" Kaidan asked, his mouth nearly gaping open in disbelief. Garrus just nodded again. "Damn, Shepard... you never cease to amaze me," he said, grinning like an idiot. It was almost as if he were dreaming- he simply couldn't believe it.

The Reapers were gone. They had won!

A cheer went up in the background, and Kaidan could tell that the soldiers were celebrating their victory against the Reapers. He wanted to join them, but first, he had to find Shepard. They would celebrate the defeat of the Reapers together- in fact, he already had more than a few ideas in mind on how to do so...

Yet, once Kaidan glanced up at the Citadel, his smile immediately evaporated. Small explosions were breaking out all over the giant space station, enkindling a feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach. "Garrus, the Citadel, look!" he shouted.

Garrus obeyed the command, but from the look on his face, Kaidan could tell that he wished he hadn't. "Shepard..." he said grimly.

"Garrus, I have to get to her, _now_," Kaidan said desperately. He used his biotics to hurl off the last pieces of debris off of his prone friend, then immediately resumed his gimped march toward the beam.

"No! Alenko, that's... suicide!" Garrus wheezed, but Kaidan ignored him. Kaidan had followed Shepard to hell and back many times before, and he damn sure wasn't going to stop now. Garrus was probably right, this probably _was_ suicide, but if he died trying to save her, so be it. He didn't want to live in a world without her anyway.

"Dammit," he heard Garrus swear behind him. "Stubborn, both... of you." He didn't even have to look back, though, to know that his friend was following him. In fact, if he hadn't been _worried __out __of __his __fucking__ mind_, he would have even smiled.

"You better hang in there, Shepard," Kaidan half muttered, half prayed. "You're not leaving me behind again- not this time," he said fiercely.

With that last thought, Kaidan leapt into the beam, determined to find the woman he loved.

* * *

><p><em>To be continued.<em>


End file.
